diorama

In spring 2008, I took Judi Pettite‘s 3D design class at Berkeley City College. Around the same time, I was touring open studios when I met Cynthia Tom. She offered some of her materials for my final project, but then I decided I have enough things around me, that I didn’t have to go back to San Francisco. When I finished with my final project for the class, I sent her a few images of my final pieces to thank her for her advice. She invited me to show at AAWAA’s 20th Anniversary show. I have shown my jars at other AAWAA exhibits. These dioramas have surprisingly been well-received.

Messier, but a real, raw, honest statement:

These dioramas were made when I was in an unhealthy relationship. They provided me a way to process and communicate my feelings about that time of my life, rather than using words, because I did not always know, or want to know the words. Feelings were not very important in my upbringing as an immigrant and paled in comparison to the historical trauma my family faced. Survival was paramount. Had I named them, it would have meant I had to take accountability and deal with them at the time, and maybe I hoped these dioramas were enough to keep those feelings at bay. For years I gave away my energy, resources, and identity to fit inside the expectations that I thought I had to adhere to (and admittedly in 2018, still do). Eventually I ended the facade because I needed to be honest with everyone. It has taken me almost 3 years after the last dioramas were made to admit these words to write this statement.

I have no regrets about that time. It provided me with clarity of what I want and do not want. I learned a lot about myself and made some humorous– albeit dark humor– dioramas along the way. I’m still learning to embrace the biggest experiment, which is living my life on my own terms, without living in a jar.

Previous vague statement, but it looked prettier.

I take memories and experiences and materialize them into dioramas set in containers. Once I put them in the containers, they are no longer intangible; they are no longer thoughts, ideas, and memories that disappear or are forgotten. They remind me of who I am. They are safe and protected. These depictions of successes, failures and everything in between are met with acceptance and judgment is non-existent.